Having boring conversations is often something people try to avoid. It’s easy to decide to skip chatting with a coworker in the break room or ignore the person next to you in line to escape a dull topic. However, new research suggests these mundane chats are actually good for you.
A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people who engage in these conversations actually enjoy them much more than they expected. The research involved 1,800 participants across nine experiments. Participants were asked to predict how much they would enjoy talking about topics they identified as boring, such as World Wars I and II, math, or vegan diets. These chats happened with friends or strangers, in person or online. The results showed that even when both people thought a topic was dull, they reported enjoying the interaction more than they anticipated.
“Engagement drives enjoyment more than topic does,” lead study author Elizabeth Trinh says. “People assume that interest comes from having a fascinating subject. But in reality, what makes conversations enjoyable is the sense of connection like feeling heard, responding to each other, and discovering unexpected details about someone’s life.”
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Psychologists note that people are social creatures by nature. Connecting over a mundane topic, like onions, still creates a social bond. Dr. Aaron P. Brinen says that even if you don’t want to be part of a conversation, avoiding it might increase loneliness. The researchers believe we often avoid these chats because we misjudge how they will feel. By assuming a conversation will be dull, we might be depriving ourselves of small moments of connection that could improve our mood.
This aligns with a broader trend in social psychology where the quality of interaction outweighs the specific subject matter. In the past, researchers often focused on how frequent contact affects well-being. This study shifts the focus to the mechanics of engagement, suggesting that the effort to listen and respond is what generates the positive feeling. It implies that the anxiety surrounding small talk is largely self-imposed, and the mental energy saved by avoiding it is often lost elsewhere in the form of isolation.
How Small Talks Affect Your Health
Beyond just feeling better, these chats can have a real impact on physical health. Dr. Nicholas Allan explains that these moments are small but not trivial. The study suggests that having these “boring” conversations can help prevent loneliness. Dr. Allan notes that loneliness is not just about how many people someone sees, but about whether interactions feel connecting and meaningful.
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Feeling lonely or socially isolated raises the risk of serious health conditions. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) lists heart disease, stroke, type 2 diabetes, depression, anxiety, dementia, and early death as risks associated with isolation. Dr. Brinen points out that side-stepping a boring chat is likely to increase your sense of loneliness. “Even if you didn’t want to be a part of that conversation, you’re still lonely,” he says.
Positive connection helps meet the human need to connect with others. Over time, those small “boring” moments can build on each other. With that, your feelings of loneliness—and the health risks that come with them—decrease. Experts encourage having conversations everywhere you go. “Being a lifelong learner can be very powerful,” Dr. Thea Gallagher says. “At the end of the day, connecting with humans can make us feel good.”
Not all social contact is beneficial. Dr. Allan warns that more contact is not automatically better. What seems to matter most is whether the interaction feels respectful, reciprocal, and emotionally safe. Positive connection helps. Depleting or hostile interactions do not.
